When The Crows Swarm In
by KokuunYotogi
Summary: Uzumaki Naruto suffered a fatal wound at a young age that put him in the hospital. It was there the boy forged a new path as he recalls events from the previous night.Rated M,OOC,Char death, NarutoXharem,lemons? maybe...
1. Punishment for a sin

Disclaimer…don't own Naruto or its characters

Uzumaki Naruto ran as fast as his ten year old legs would take him. Tearing through the streets of Konoha whilst mobs of villagers that sought to tear him piece by piece followed a good mile or so behind Naruto could only focus his thoughts on one word,

'_Why…'_

By now the villagers had been successful in pinning him to a tree; they brandished their select instruments of torture while yelling threats of death to the demon all too similar to the abuse and hatred Naruto received during recent years this kind of thing however happened every year…on October tenth. The savage beating continued for what seemed like hours before someone impaled a sharpened pole through the young boys shoulder and with what seemed to be an attempt at lifting the boy into the air a heavily muscled villager hoisted the hard iron forward completely severing the limb and all dreams of the feature along with it.

"You think he's had enough?"

"Yeah…go break it up…"

"Hai, taichou"

From the safety of his moonlit rooftop the nameless ANBU watched as the massive crowd dispersed leaving nothing but a few scattered weapons and a shivering, bloody child.

"Take him to the hospital, Ill report this to Hokage-sama…"

"Hai"

The female ANBU held the child close against her chest effectively warming the small bundle, a tear slipped from under her mask.

"I…am so sorry Naruto-kun" she lifted her mask revealing black hair and a pair of sharingan

"If only…If only I could adopt you, I would be able to embrace you as a son…and not a victim of their hatred"

The two approached the hospital and she hesitantly released the mortally wounded Naruto into the hands of the waiting nurse.

In the Hokage tower:

Sarutobi took a long puff out of his pipe "So..They went after him again?" he turned to an open window as the wolf ANBU appeared just outside of it. "Hai, Hokage-sama. I-It's much worse this time…they ripped his arm clean off" Sarutobi sighed creating a cloud of smoke that rose slowly to the ceiling.

"So Kakashi, at what point did you decide that it was enough?"

Kakashi dropped his head as the Hokage motioned the crystal ball resting on his desk "You still have that thing? Then I assume you already know of Mikoto's wishes of adopting Naruto"

Sarutobi began stroking his beard as in deep thought "Yes…It is a shame but I cannot allow her to adopt him. Naruto has a special trait that I think must be able to develop over the years. Hopefully his determination to be acknowledged will drive him to become an all out stronger shinobi"

On the upper parts of the roof Mikoto stood holding back tears as best she could.


	2. Diagnoses and dread

_**He walked calmly through the wooden halls of the Uchiha estate, a tanto firmly in hand any Uchiha in sight were immediately stabbed or slashed skillfully across the throat. As that was the wish of the voice.**_

The dim light of the room came into focus and Naruto awoke to find himself in a white room. Everything was white…he himself was wearing a white robe which was loosely tied around the waist. His bright blue eyes in result of the constant medical jutsu and sedatives had dulled down to a light grey color, the doctor through clenched teeth said that due to his strange ability to heal so quickly mixed with the all of the medicine they'd given him had his body trying to break down certain genes to try and rebuild the lost limb. Soon the pigment in his eyes would no longer hold the cerulean color that they've maintained for years and would become an emotionless white, and even his pupils would be gone…nothing but white…A tear made its way towards his cheek followed by a stream of agony as Naruto cried out

"WHY!? WHY THE FUCK DOES IT HAVE TO BE ME!? IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ME!!"

The boy's body shook with anger a vortex of red had surrounded him, clawing its way at everything in sight. Outside the padlocked door stood the terrified doctor who watched intently as Naruto vented his anger on the confines of his hospital room.

"You! Get at least several other nurses and calm that child down!"

The nurse peeked into the room through its reinforced window only for her face to pale "E-eh...s-sir once we gather enough nurses to c-constrain him…I-I don't think sedatives will be enough t-to p-put him out…"

she immediately scurried off to find nurses willing enough to enter the room let alone approach the angered child. The doctor curious to study Naruto's behavior unlocked the reinforced door and slowly peeked in.

_**That man…His eyes were so very cold, his mouth molded into a scowl. And yet he stood so calmly protecting a sobbing woman who was tending to her injured child. The voice urged him forward towards this foolish man…but the man wasn't protecting the two weaker humans from him…There to the side much out of his field of view was another, another who bore the same crest but held a katana in attempt to kill the man. Before he could protest the other had charged forward completely decapitating the man and women in one swift cleave. The other leaned towards the trembling child and whispered something of hatred…and revenge. The voice was very displeased and stole consciousness from him before precious sight had melted away the other had walked over to him and promised to return…something…something about a weasel and dawn.**_

The doctor slowly inched towards Naruto who now sat facing a corner covered in claw marks and other various markings.

"H-hey demon, get back onto your bed. I-I hope your ready to pay for the d-damage you've caused" The doctor tried to keep an angry voice and scowl but couldn't stop the studdering.

"**Go away…go away..."** The boy muttered in a low growl

"Eh? Speak up kid I can't hear you" The doctor foolishly leaned towards him cupping his hand by his ear with a grin "Kid, ya gotta talk louder if you want me to help you." "I AM a doctor" He added with a stupid grin. Naruto slowly turned towards him, his eyes engulfed in red

"**I SAID GO AWAY OR ILL RIP YOUR STOMACH OUT AND ENJOY MY DAILY MEALS IN YOUR RIBCAGE" **The doctor stumbled back, a look of terror on his face "I-I oh, shit!!" He looked up to find that he'd left the door unlocked and open. Naruto's gaze met the door **"Oh? Looks like your screwed"** The doctor scrambled towards the door but Naruto had beat him to it. Once outside he ran full speed towards the gates leaving behind all of the years of pain that he'd endured.


	3. Weasel

Naruto ran through the darkened forests of Konoha not sure where just anywhere but here. He continued running for hours until his small legs collapsed throwing him face first into the dirt. A moment passed…a single moment, but within that moment Uzumaki Naruto had changed the course of his life. He crawled weakly towards the stump of a tree and it was there at that tree he decided no matter what bonds came in the future that he would return…and destroy this evil place.

Itachi stood a few meters away observing the boy who had so calmly obliterated his clan. _Something about him is…different. That killing intent I experienced during mother and fathers execution is gone…Still nonetheless the boy had enough potential to keep the rest of those fools at bay while I killed them._

He let out a low chuckle as the mangekyou activated itself.

_He also managed to kill them all. I guess this means Sasuke's the last of them…_

Naruto sat hugging his knees a soft whimper escaped his lips as a figure in black had scooped him up, he felt a strong wind before the figure spoke.

"Hello, Naruto-kun. I promised to return to you didn't I?"

"W-weasel…?"

The small boy fell limp as the man gazed into his eyes.

"Do not worry my friend. The Akatsuki will take good care of you…"

"Itachi…it may be true we invited you to join our ranks seeing as we are low on members…But I will not stress the fact that we told you to meet us here alone…"

The coarse voice echoed throughout the dim cave.

"Hai, leader-sama…But I thought bringing this boy would make an excellent gift seeing he is the container of the strongest of the nine"

"You mean…"

"Yes. He is the container for the Kyuubi no Kitsune"

The black clad known as leader laughed and soon the other seven figures followed…well as far as Itachi could see anyways.

"Leader-sama…I do have a request though…"

He immediately stopped halting the others along with him.

"And what would you…our newest member have to request to me?"

Itachi avoided looking the man in the eyes, as the Akatsuki messenger had suggested.

"Well, truthfully once you extract the bijuu this boy contains…I highly recommend you enlist him as well. The night I had chosen to destroy my clan this boy approached me asking if he could help…I have absolutely no idea how he knew…but he was able to serve as more than a distraction seeing as he killed some of the strongest the Uchiha clan had to offer with jonin level jutsu…"

Leader had paused, obviously in thought

"Alright…" he stated simply

Some of the figures looked down to the boy one called out

"Hey, Itachi check him for any cash!"

Another pumped his fist into the air

"FUCK YEAH! Itachi, kid! I will convert you to the ways of Jashin!" his eyes twinkled at the thought as Itachi slung the unconscious boy over his shoulder

"Leader-sama does this facility have a hospital? Although he is powerful he's still a child"

Leader nodded and motioned for one of the figures to carry Naruto to the medical wing. A girl with blue hair emerged from the shadows and quietly walked past Itachi and Naruto towards a door to the far right of the room.


	4. Demons blessing

**Wake up, kit.** The voice was rough and angry so Naruto quickly complied. He found himself standing in ankle deep water…and a huge cage stood before him proudly presenting a seal, behind it were the most evil eyes you could imagine.

W-who are you?" Naruto finally managed to stutter.

**I, am the Kyuubi no Kitsune. And you…YOU are my jailer….you little shit.**

The eyes narrowed behind the bars with a growl causing Naruto to cry

"P-please Kyuubi-san don't kill me I didn't mean for this to happen, I swear! It was all that Yondaime's fault! He sealed you inside of me I swear it! He frantically waved his arms trying to persuade the demon.

**You are weak. But not have you once resented me. Why?** The fox watched the boy walk closer to the edge of the cage before answering

"Because, it's not your fault. You didn't choose to be sealed away. And honestly I would imagine you'd choose someone far more powerful than me to be imprisoned in if you had a say in it." Naruto watched as the eyes slowly closed before an evil laugh filled the room.

**You're right, kit. You are weak and I won't stand for this! I am the Kyuubi no Kitsune damnit! I deserve a strong container not someone as pathetic as you.**

The boy lowered his head hiding his face in shadow.

"B-besides. You're the closest thing I have to family…I…I suppose even if you are a demon I can't be angry at you because you're family.

The Kyuubi laughed in response

**Yeah. We're family, and you know what? Family helps each other out. Tell ya what, kit. You help me and ill give you a demons blessing, something that'll help the both of us out.**

Naruto squinted his eyes in confusion

"A demons blessing…? Isn't that a bit contradictory? He asked

**Haha, yeah I guess but I don't make this shit up… The ancient scriptures clearly state that a demon may pass his blessing on to a human in any form. And in return the human must complete a task to keep it.**

"In any form? What the hell does that mean??"

…**It means that from within the confines of your mind ill be able to affect the outside world to protect you. Not to mention that if you're dumb ass dies so do I…**

**So kid? What form do you want my generous hospitality to take?**

The Kyuubi looked questioningly down at Naruto who pondered on the though before answering.

"W-well I really like birds…I mean not like a bird can protect me bu-

He was interrupted by a roar from the Kyuubi

**Birds eh? Sheesh. Well you didn't specify any type of bird so well go with crows, why? Because MY demon container isn't going to be walking around with little humming birds or robins following him…**

"Wha…? I wasn't going to pick something like that…Seeing as you're a fox, I was thinking on going with foxes…"

**No. You're currently in the lair of S-ranked criminals who seek to harness my power. If there are foxes following you around they'll know that it'll be of my influence. 'sides don't you want some trademark crap of your own? Humans are so conceited like that. No, this blessing will stay with you long after im gone. Aswell as a good portion of my power. This is my gift to you, Uzumaki Naruto for accepting me.**

"Oh. OK. Wait a minute they're going to WHAT??

Before he could finish Naruto found himself in a hospital bed once again looking up at the white tile ceiling. A deep kanji had appeared onto his forehead it read: Dread.

"Aaww, what the fuck? Naruto looked into a nearby mirror. Aww this shit doesn't come off either!" He said rubbing the kanji viciously.

The cold winter air filled the room as a girl with blue hair opened the nearby window and returned to a wooden chair where she contently read a small purple book.

"Hey. Who are you and where the hell am I?

The small boy placed his feet on the cold tile floor and shuffled towards the girl who innocently peeked over the top of her book and smiled.

"Hey lady. Where am I?" He repeated

"……………"

"Well, can I at least leave?"

"……………"

"Alright…"

Naruto walked the dimly lit halls and watched as the doors seemed to become one until eventually

"Shit…Im lost."

He kept walking until a large door with a strange kanji carved into it came into view. To its left was a man with blond hair who seemed to be leaning against its frame called over to him.

"Hey…kid. Come here leader wants to speak to you, un."

"Leader…? Where the hell am i? There was this chick with blue hair when I woke up but she wouldn't talk to me…"

"Eh? Blue…. Oh that was Konan, un. She don't talk much… Now come here.

The man was dressed in a black coat with red clouds…same as that girls….

"Ehh…where exactly is here?" he asked through squinted eyes…a habit of his since a younger age.

"THIS" the older man stated "Is leaders room. I was to find you when you woke up. Said he wanted give ya somin. But I guess you came to me, un." He knocked on the door once before setting off into the seemingly endless halls.

"Come in"

"Um… The funny talking guy said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes. Come in."

Naruto hesitantly walked through the large wooden frame and tried to push the heavy door shut but it wouldn't budge.

"Leave it. Its fine, im expecting Konan in a few moment's with you're medical reports…"

Pain's eyes wandered to the Kanji on Naruto's forehead

_A demons blessing? The Kyuubi no Kitsune must be aware of our intentions. But to this for the boy…?_

"Welcome to Akatsuki" he offered his hand which Naruto shook in confusion.


	5. Red Dawn

Naruto stood silent still in shock of what he had just heard.

"Aka….tsuki?"

Suddenly his eyes widened in realization.

"Dawn…"

That's what weasel had meant… It was all clear to him now. The murder, Kyuubi, and Akatsuki. A rough voice interrupted Naruto's racing thoughts

"Now…I am Pain. You shall refer me as Leader at all times. Within our organization there is you Naruto, Deidara the blonde you met just a few moments earlier, Sasori, Hidan, Kisame, Zetsu, Kakuzu, Konan the girl you met in the hospital wing, myself, and Itachi another new member. He was the one who brought you here. And was also the one who suggest we allow you into our ranks."

"Itachi? WEASEL!" He shouted. "Yes now it all makes sense. When I was destroying the Uchiha clan he had helped me. At the end of it he was saying something about weasel…and dawn. Now I understand, he was probably introducing himself and-"

"Telling you about Akatsuki…" Pain interrupted.

"I see. He felt compelled to tell you, a mere stranger and boy about our hidden organization. Nonetheless you were able to defeat jonin ranked opponents so a few years of training and you should be experienced enough to go out on missions."

"A few years? C'mon leader-san im experienced enough now!"

"Believe it or not I do believe you could handle a low ranked mission although it would have to be with a very powerful partner…For now you'll have to train."

Naruto slumped a little at his leader in lack of faith

"A-alright. But who's going to train me?"

"Well. I guess it's up to you to choose. Kisame, Zetsu, Sasori, Konan, and myself will be busy for the next few months. But im sure anyone else will be more than happy to train you."

"O-ok."

With that Pain handed him an Akatsuki cloak and a ring with the kanji Kūchin.

"The void..?" Naruto asked questioningly

"Yes. Each Akatsuki member has his or her place. As we all act as a hand if you will. Each finger must move together to achieve the goal as a hand. Seeing as you are the smallest…I'd say you'd be the pinky" Pain stated with a smirk.

"…." Naruto just frowned and crossed his arms.

"So…I can choose any sensei I want…?"

"Yes. But don't think you can just as easily leave once you've picked. You must stay dedicated or the hand will not be able to function as one."

"Hai" Naruto threw the coat over himself and to his surprise it fit quite well. He placed the ring onto his left pinky to admire it.

_The void…Just like what I had felt back in Konoha…_

"Speaking of which you'll be sent to Konoha when you're training is complete. Since they can't mark you as a missing nin along with Itachi. You will grow among their shinobi raise through their ranks while secretly meeting with your assigned partner…That'll wait until you're a full fledged Akatsuki member though…" Pain said as he stroked his chin in thought. Naruto fell over.

"You really gotta cut that out."


	6. Jashin!

Walking the hallways of the Akatsuki's base Naruto thought deeply on who his sensei should be…having only their names to go by. Not too far across the hall Hidan walked slowly thinking on the best method of converting that boy to Jashin.

_Jashin would be pleased to be able to receive sacrifices two times more often! But how to convert him…He's young so that should make it a lot easier. Hopefully those bastards in Konoha haven't plagued his thought with the lies of Kami and such.._

Naruto still thinking about what Pain had said hadn't noticed Hidan a few feet away and vice versa. The two collided falling to the ground causing the silver haired Jashinist to release a string of curses

"AHHWHATTHEFUCK?!?CAN'TYASEEIMFUCKINTHINKIN!?!WHYDON'TCHAFUCKIN WATCHWHEREYALOOKIN??"

Naruto taken back by the mans foul mouth did what his nine year old mind could think of and replied with the same words

"WELL MAYBE IF YOU WERENT IN MY FUCKIN WAY I'D BE ABLE TO SEE WHERE I WAS GOING YA DAMNED OLD MAN"

_Holy crap, I like this kid._ Hidan thought with a smirk

"Ahh, Never mind. Say what the hell are ya doin just walkin around here anyways? Shouldn't you be reporting to leader 'bein a new member and all."

"I did and he said that for me to be a full fledged Akatsuki member I had to choose one of the remaining people 'round here to train me or something…"

_Aaah…thank you Jashin. You truly do reward the faithful!_

"Hey kid ill train ya! You're the kitsune kid right, yeah Itachi brought cha here saying that you're the jinchuuriki for the Kyuubi."

_Perfect( ) an evil disciple for an evil god_

"Yeah!...That was easier than I thought!! So sensei when do we begin??" Naruto yelled as he pumped a fist into the air.

"Whoa, Whoa. Calm the fuck down. First you must devote your faith to Jashin" Hidan said with a grin.

"Ja…shin?" Naruto said a bit confused

"What's that? A fighting stance?"

Hidan nearly cried at the boy's innocence…how he's going to love destroying that and turning him into a killing machine.

"No my boy. Jashin is the mighty god of Destruction"

"Destruction??" Naruto gasped

Hidan held his breath awaiting the response most had given him…

"AWSOME!" The young boy jumped into the air like a child on his birthday… (Which in fact it was…)

Hidan nearly broke into tears; his eyes twinkled as he led the boy into his room

"Come in here and ill teach you every ritual and even give you a copy of your own bible!!" Hidan squealed at the thought as he pulled one of the thousands of copies he hid under Jashin's sacrificial platform. Naruto to say the least was enthusiastic about the new found religion as was Kyuubi.


	7. Time skip

Over the years Naruto had trained under Hidan and became a priest of Jashin also adopting the high priest's foul mouth, He had learned about concealing explosives into innocent looking items and had also adopted Deidara's trademark, un. Sasori's over sized dolls intensely bored the boy and he often made vain attempts to blow them to smithereens followed by a long discussion on why not to blow things up in the lair from Pain. Itachi had trained him in a few fire related type jutsu but that was all the bonding those two got together. Naruto had yet to meet this Zetsu person but Hidan-sensei said that he was a freak of nature. Konan had taught Naruto origami which the blond combined in his explosives making little paper animals that with the help of Sasori's useless doll no jutsu Naruto was able to animate his creations into moving around…which was later used to destroy one of Sasori's puppets. Kisame greatly disliked the boy when Naruto tried to cook him when they had first met…(Which was in the kitchen). And Kakuzu although Naruto had also taken into his sensei's dislike of the man adopted the greed he had often displayed.

Naruto now stood 5'4, and as the doctors had predicted back in Konoha his eyes lost their color pigment and had become an eerie white. But his arm had grown back! His hair was still blonde but due to lack of light and contact to chlorine Naruto's hair had become a snow white that was slicked back like his sensei's. He wore the official Akatsuki robes but pulled down at the top revealing some of his chest and his priest's rosaries which were stained crimson (not with paint) and bore a symbol of Jashin which was carved over his heart resulting in a scar.(with Kyuubi's permission of course.) At the age of ten Kyuubi was extracted from Naruto who had basically absorbed the demon's chakra completely except for a good amount which was sacrificed to the demon altar statue.

The four years of spiritual, mental, and physical training took a toll on his body and was in very decent condition.

Naruto jumped throughout the trees towards the village of his birth, a few crows followed not too far behind. Still, with the years came wisdom and he realized that without the hatred of those ignorant fucks in Konoha Naruto would never have met Itachi and would never have been accepted into Akatsuki. So with that wisdom Naruto realized that he actually owed the village…something….

"But still…" He spoke to no one in particular

"Those asshole do owe me **something** for the nine years of hell they put me through."

With careful thought he nodded

"Aah, fuck. Why be so conceited? I figure one hundred virgins should do it…Jashin would be soo pleased if I brought him the heads of virgins!"

"And a hundred to boot, un." He added in a happy voice.

In due time the Konoha gates came into view and Naruto prepared for the act just as leader had told him…

Flashback no jutsu

Pain stood with his arms crossed looking at the now fourteen Naruto.

"Naruto. You remember that assignment I gave you five years ago?" Pain asked in his usual calm manner.

"Hai, leader-san. You said that now that when I've the proper training I can start acting on Akatsuki missions"

"That is correct. I trust you've packed and said you're farewell for the time being?"

"Hai"

"Then this is what you will do. We will send you in the right direction of your birth town but will not assist you farther than the boundaries of the fire country. When you have reached the gates set yourself a good distance away and use the death mimicry jutsu Hidan taught you. Hopefully if all goes well you'll wake up in the hospital, from there report to the Hokage and request to become a Shinobi of the leaf. After a good few months go into the forest and send a messenger crow to any of our nearby basses and well send an informant"

"H-hai…But what should I use for a symbol that im not doing this against my will?" Naruto asked as soon as the thought popped into his mind. Pain stood in thought for a moment before pointing to the purple kanji on his forehead.

"Ah. I understand Leader-san. And if im forced?"

Pain again fell into deep thought…something Naruto found he did often.

"If you're disguise is seen through…You will draw a white circle onto the paper and have your messenger send it to the informant.

end

"Oi, Sora-kun…"

He turned towards one of the crows that had gathered behind him

"Can you take this letter to tell leader I've successfully infiltrated Konoha?"

The bird cawed once in response then descended into the air with the message in its beak

"Such a good bird"

"Well…time to get this show on the road, un."

With a quick hand sign and shout

"Shikyomane no jutsu!"

Naruto fell limp over a bush. Blood gushing from his forehead below his kanji as he hit the ground hard. To add to the effect some of the crows began pecking at his body opening small wounds as he had instructed them prier of his arrival.


	8. The pink haired heroine

Haruno Sakura had just finished gathering some erbs that her mother had requested for an ointment she was making. The pink haired girl hummed softly to herself for a few moments before tripping over something heavy that lay idle on the ground.

"Ehh? What…the..?"

She looked over to find that it was a body of a somewhat older boy…He was pale...and kinda…

"DEAD!?!"

She jumped to her feet and tried to shoo away the birds that were picking at the boy. With motherly like grace the smaller girl carefully lifted the larger male but to her surprise the birds continued following

"Heey? What the hell do you think you're doing, Baka-birds!"

One crow cawed in response another swooped down and cut the boys face with its talons

"BAKA! GET OUTTA HERE!!"

She made a run for the gates with the boy slumped over her shoulder every few moments she stumbled under his weight but continued running doing the only thing her young female mind would allow, calling for help, screaming, and crying. As she finally reached the gates the two chuunin posted on guard duty slowly peeked over their wooden desk to find a girl…with a boy. Over her shoulder…and a flock of crows behind them.

"Ehh…can we…help you miss?"

"I found this kid lying out in the forest bleeding from the head"

She frantically pointed to the unconscious boys head

"Uhhh…" One of them went to say but the other interrupted

"Hai. We'll admit him to the hospital right away! Thank you, Haruno-san"

With that the man took the limp body of the boy and began jumping over rooftops to the direction of the hospital.

Naruto awoke with a groan.

"White tiles…It seems like I wake up to these every time something important happens…"

His words of wisdom was met with the gaze of bright green eyes

"H-hey you ok? I found you in the forest and you were bleeding!"

Sakura pointed towards the forest in the distance

"Eh? Oh yeah some asshole knocked me out and probably took my stuff, un"

"You were robbed?! That's horrible! You should report this to the Hokage, he could probably find the guy who mugged you!"

"Ho-kage huh?" He put his hand on his chin in mock thought

"Yeah. Ill give the Ho-kage a visit" He put emphasis on the "Ho" with a smirk

"Well…do you need help finding him? It's kind of a large village" Sakura asked with a worried tone

"Hey. We're in Konoha right?" He asked with a grin

She hesitated but then replied

"Y-yeah were in the village hidden in the leaves"

Naruto grinned placing a foot on the windows mahogany frame

"Then ill just go to the building with the most fuckin cash put into its construction"

With that he jumped out of the second story window Sakura gasped and ran to the window "HEY YOURE ON THE SECOND STORY THERE ARE STAIRS YA KNOW!" she leaned over the edge to find a few stray feathers floating to the ground.

"…"

_Just as I thought…_Naruto thought with a smirk _Look! They put a fucking giant sign on top! I bet its worth a lot_, _un! _

"Hehehe…ill take that on my way out in a few years. Now…in the mean time where's the Hokage? Maybe he's got a secretary or somin" The boy wandered into the massive red building to find a secretary sitting at her desk and a door to her left with some retards with animal masks guarding a door. Naruto put on a fake confused expression as he leaned over the desk to get the wench's attention

"Hey some pink haired chick said I should come here to see the Hokage"

The secretary looked up from her paper and gave the pale eyed boy a thorough look over.

"Oh? Are you a priest of some sort?"

Naruto mentally smacked himself on the forehead

_Fuuck I forgot to remove my robes and Jashin rosaries hey I guess I do look like a priest…I should keep up the look…_

"Uhh...yeah im a priest but that's not my reason for seeing the Hokage. You see I was walking to Suna a good while back and some prick mugged me and left me for dead…and that's when the pink haired chick saved me, un."

The womans expression changed an amused look at the younger boys description of this nameless heroine being referred to the "pink haired chick"

"Well, ill tell Hokage-sama you're waiting"

"Thanks" _Bitch._ He took a seat in one of the suede chairs to the right _Ohmyfuckinggod these people are so freakin stupid. They're waving around cash like its stained toilet paper! Fuckin suede chairs…This shits comfortable…Maybe instead of destroying this shit hole ill gather up some followers that Hidan-sensei can convert to Jashin, then sacrifice the rest of em. Then after that we can raid the village get some more luxurious crap for the base, then destroy it, un!_ He scowled at the thought of the pathetic stubs of wood leader had them sitting at back at the base. The secretary and ANBU had slightly shifted away from the boy who was leaking murderous intent, the pathetic whore tried to make small talk with the plotting priest

"So…What kind of religion are you from? We don't have many extremely dedicated religious figures in Konohagakure…" _A religion of utter destruction where anything besides that is sin! You hear me wench I WILL KILL YOU._

"Feh…Folks 'round here wouldn't be too prone to dedicate their lives to my lord like my sensei and I have" _Especially since you'll be acting as the sacrifices, un_

"Ahh" The woman said in thought

"You and your sensei are so dedicated. Maybe you could at least open a temple for your god down farther by the river where it's more peaceful. Im sure the villagers would be very interested in the lessons your god has to offer"

Naruto couldn't contain himself to this as he burst into a maniacal laughter at the thought of Konoha burned to rubble and a towering temple of Jashin stood on its remains. The villagers stood in a never ending line at its entrance waiting for their end like animals at a slaughter house

"**Bwahahahahaa!!"**

The secretary and ANBU had shifted another good three feet from the hysterical priest.

"E-eeh… Hokage-sama is waiting for you in his office…"


	9. A New Identity

"Uh…huh…" The even older (if possible…) Sarutobi sat behind his well polished desk listening to the fake stories this traveling priest had to offer.

"Mugged you say..? Outside the gates of Konoha?" The elderly man took a deep drag of his pipe then continued

"Not that im doubting this…the forest's supply of thieves and muggers has been increasing with the years. But how could it be that a mere academy student found you when I have multiple squads of ANBU patrolling that sector…"

"Academy..? Oh the pink chick…yeah. She freaked out when she was my birds too" he laughed. Sarutobi raised a wrinkled eyebrow

"Birds?"

"Hai, Im a bird trainer if you will. They act kinda like my guards too, un."

The Hokage let out a long laugh that made his sags shake in a similar rhythm

_Eeew…I knew Hidan-sensei was old…But this is disgusting _The Jashin priest shuddered at the thought of his loud mouthed sensei all saggy and fragile like this senile old coot.

"You're a priest that trains birds…Your god must very in tune with nature"

Naruto smirked

"Mm, very." With that he held out his arm and a large black bird landed on his shoulder. The bird cocked its head at the old man as if saying something…insulting, while simultaneously dropping a small object wrapped in red ribbon into the pocket of its master.

"Ah, forgive my manners Hokage-sama the reason I came to you today is to request to become a shinobi of the leaf. I am Uzumaki Naruto, priest of Jashin" A light clunk was heard from below as Sarutobi's pipe had dropped to the ground emptying the burning tobacco within onto the wooden floor.

"Oh, and this is Sora" he added as the bird squawked in affirmation.

"Uzumaki….N-Naruto? This IS YOU? W-what happened to your eyes? And Kami, you're Hair??" Sarutobi shouted causing the ANBU beyond the wooden door to peek in.

"Heh, well you see…My sensei was **somewhat** like an immortal. No matter what kind of injuries he sustained the man would always live. And well adding my amazing healing abilities…one thing led to another…" he twiddled his thumbs in a very Hinata-like fashion. The Hokage obviously didn't see where this was going

"And…?"

Naruto waited a few seconds of silence adding to the suspense.

"Heh, I was on an assassination mission, un. The guy didn't know what hit him. I was just about to finish up and some idiot came outta nowhere with these things strapped all over him, I told him to do what he was gonna do or go home…Then all I remember is the room filling with some purplish smoke."

"A suicide bomber…?"

The priest pouted as a large chakra signature approached the door.

Naruto lowered his head whispering in a business like manner

"Well, to get to the point of my being here…I assume you realize that if word got out that the demon has returned it would cause not only problems for me…but for you. Seeing as you allowed it to enter the village, you allowed it to participate in the academy, and YOU set it loose onto the unsuspecting streets of our precious Konoha. Therefore burn any records you have of Uzumaki Naruto, It would be for the best if I just disappeared. Replace them with Uruhada Nonori… That's the name ill be using on my stay, k ?"

Sarutobi's eyes widened in horror

"N-Naruto you know about the Kyuubi!?"

"I wasn't talking about the fox" He whispered with a grin. With that Hatake Kakashi opened the wooden doors leading to the Hokage's office and Naruto teleported out "Ohayo, Hokage-sama… I wanted to discuss with you about this years academy stude-"

Sarutobi sat there in shock of what he had just heard not even acknowledging his guests arrival.

_What can he mean? Surely the Kyuubi is still with him. And what does "I wasn't talking about the fox" mean??_

"Kakashi…"

"Hm…?" The one eyed man noticed a slight tremble in his Hokage's words

"Sit down"


	10. A quick word to readers

Ok. This is a quick note: Every chapter of when the crows swarm in has been updated. My damned spell check has the vocabulary of a second grader…and the brains to match, un. You may have noticed before things such as Naruto were changed to Narrator Jashin I think was changed to Jasmine…

Hidan:WTF?!?! THAT'S A DISGRACE!

Naruto:points and laughs

Meh…thanks for reading. Violence in later chapters will make this story live up to its rating and categories XP


	11. Pale eyes and C4

Kakashi took a few moments to regain his cool after absorbing the newfound information.

"So, Uzumaki Naruto is back huh? Last I heard of him he freaked out in the hospital and ran away"

The Hokage nodded solemnly.

"Except he's going under the name Uruhada Nonori"

There was a brief silence as Sarutobi emptied the remnants of his pipe into a nearby trash bin.

"Filling out that report was the hardest thing ive ever had to do…"

Kakashi averted his gaze to the mountains on the horizon. In the light of the sunset it was truly a sight to behold. The one eyed jonin sighed in his growing age…things were so much simpler back then…

Naruto sat comfortably on a park bench Sora stood vigilant upon his shoulder, as always. The bird always seemed to be interested in something…as if he could stare into the very soul. He gave the bird an affectionate nudge and as always Sora pulled at a stand of his hair as if to say 'Not now, baka. I'm watching something…' He seemed to always be looking for something these days… In the distance was a girl who looked like she was trying to take down one of the countless tall, proud oak trees of Konoha. With an inward chuckle Naruto strode calmly towards the girl to get a better look at her methods. At a closer look she was doing nothing at all…just kinda slapping it…Again he laughed at the girls futile attempts when something caught his attention.

"…You're…eyes…"

"E-ecs-scuse m-me, b-but i-m t-t-raining f-for an e-examination…"

She quickly glanced at him from the side of her eyes to see if he'd left, her stance became tense as Naruto watched in curiosity.

"You're training…? For what, un? Whaddya a lumber jack?" the question seemed to intimidate her...or something as she quickly pulled her arms to the side.

"A-act-tuall-y…i-im t-training t-to become a-a…"

Naruto slowly looked from the tree to her hands, still confused.

"Well ya aint getting nowhere with those pansy-ass slapps" he dug into a pouch which hung loosly by a strap to his left which caused the timid Kunoichi-in training to instinctively reach for the kunai pouch strapped to her leg.

"Hey, hey. Relax. Im just getting summa this stuff, un." He showed her what seemed to be a palm full of white colored clay. She examined the clay with her own paled eyes

"W-whats t-that?" She asked taking a shaky step back.

"This…" He exclaimed proudly causing her to jump "Is my C-4 explosive clay"

This time the girl completely paled and stumbled back against a fallen tree, holding herself and anything around her for dear life..

"W-what a-a-re y-yo-u g-going-t-to d-do with t-t-hat" her voice cracked at mid sentence.

"Whaddya think. Im gonna help you out, un. This tree has obviously done something to deserve your little love taps" with that he focused chakra into the clay forming it into a small spider-like creature which instantly dropped to the ground and crawled under a lose set of roots.

"Well, that's all set…might wanna get a few feet away…The girl nodded dumbly and followed and simply watched in astonishment as the blonde gave the tree its final goodbyes

"Im sorry, tree-san…But you're fate has been decided!" "_Yuuku!" _With what seemed like a delayed blast the fiery destruction ripped itself from within the trees trunk followed by the sound and impact of the blast itself. Nothing but smoldering remains rained down from above casting an orange glow over Naruto's paled eyes, his hands triumphantly rested on his hips.

"Well, how was that!? Not only did I take out the tree…but check it out I got some of that statue too, un!" The statue of the lonely maiden was now ten times more lonely…as her entire left side along with most of her head had been blown clean off and fused to the cement walkway below.

"Hahahaha! So beauti-WHA?!" in his own adoration…the girl had slipped away.

"Tch, bitch. Can't appreciate true art…"


	12. Debt in blood

"Tonight will be Jashin-sama's first sacrifice…As payment for their sins against me I will claim one hundred of their virgin maidens and see to it they dies as whores"

Naruto stood atop the same rooftop the nameless ANBU had all those years ago. A sharp pain in his shoulder brought forth the memories of physical therapy he had undergone to even make it to a genin rank.

"Yes and that person will definitely suffer the most" a wave of malice drifted like snow over the ignorant village invading its sleeping inhabitant's dreams with feelings of dread and misery.

The moon hung ominously in the bitter night air, its rust colored surface glared down carefully upon Konohagakure waiting patiently for the night's events to unfold. A young woman no doubt around the age of seventeen walked cautiously through the dark streets, every few minutes her eyes would wander towards her violet carrying bag. The bag swayed with her every movement making its contents clank together. Recently a man was mugged by thieves within the city and citizens were advised to be on alert when traveling alone but none of that mattered tonight, no tonight was a special night. The girl turned down a rough dirt road lined with high fences it was a quick way home but lacked the aid of street lamps.

"Uhg, I hate these paths at night…but I have to make it home before Haruma-kun and prepare dinner for us" she turned down an intersection of fences excitement building _'tonight will be the night I tell him how I feel…'_ a light blush crept over her face.

A snap from behind interrupted the girls thoughts as she turned around quickly to find the source

"H-hello?" She called out but to no avail. A few feet away lay a bleeding bird, it cooed softly as death embraced it. The girl let out a sigh before running over to the small teal bird.

"You're bleeding from the throat…Hold on this may sting a little" She knelt down and placed her hand over the birds neck. Within a few moments her hand was engulfed in a warm green light. A series of small twitches…and then nothing, her indication the bird had passed.

"I…was too late…" she grabbed the bag which had been tossed aside

"Im sorry bird-san…" whispering a short prayer she left the bird which now lay peacefully on the ground. Again a sound was heard this time to the left. She turned slowly to find a teenage boy looking directly at her, his ghost white eyes were calm but at the same time filled with hate.

"O-oh, my you scared me…im sorry I was helping this bird I didn't expect anyone else to be here this time of night…" The boys unnerving eyes shifted to the blood covered bird he knelt down now at eye level. He looked sadly down at the bird and then back to her

"Isn't it sad when something innocent dies?" he ran a pale hand over the birds blood stained neck

"I know for a fact this bird did not die in vain…" his gaze again met with hers

"What do you mean?" her question containing more fear than curiosity. The boy placed a cold hand on her shoulder

"He helped me find you didn't he?" a sadistic grin lined his face.

"I-I've got to get going" she turned to find thousands upon thousands of jet black crows sitting patiently upon the wooden fences going as far as the eye could see

"You're dear sweet Haruma-kun can wait a few more minutes before the two of you are reunited, besides the fun is about to begin" he flipped open his black robes to pull out a fuzzy looking ball that dripped with a putrid smelling liquid. The boy then stepped back into the moonlight, its red glow reflected into his eyes and it was then that she realized what he had been holding. The calm night air erupted in terrified screams and muffled cries of help

"It's no use Shadume-chan…nobody will help you. Just like nobody helped me"


	13. A most generous gift

Naruto sat up from his hard spring mattress, its springs creaked which in his mind was their way of saying 'fffuuucckkk…you. Loose some weight or get a new bed.'

"Ah, crap my back. Today im looking for a new fucking house…" he looked over to his akatsuki cloaks which were now covered in blood

"And some new clothes, un." He rummaged through the old, Moldy drawers to find what seemed like a collection of bright orange jump suits.

"What the fuck!" Naruto jumped back and preformed a low level katon jutsu, effectively sending those ugly ass jump suits where they belonged. Hell.

"Man, those villagers were freaking evil to make me wear that shit, I'd rather go naked, un!" And that he did. Under a henge Naruto walked the streets of Konoha in his 'Birthday suit' a suit which in fact, was only used at parties…or at bars. Naruto had found that Konoha had changed a lot during his time away for one thing, the shopping district had an entire section of shinobi accessories and clothing…woo

"This would be freaking awesome…if I had money…" just then, like a gift from Jashin himself a familiar pink blob obstructed his view.

"Oi, you left me with the admittance fee back at the hospital!" the pink haired chick poked him repeatedly on the forehead while screeching directly into his ear.

"Heh, sorry 'bout that, un. You see I'm having a bit of a financial problem right now" he leaned in and pretended to be embarrassed

"_Im not even wearing clothes right now_" he whispered mischievously into her ear. Gaining the desired blush Naruto continued

"In fact as of yesterday im…a citizen of Konohagakure. Also I've enlisted into the academy. Seeing as I can perform jonin rank jutsu, becoming a genin should be a cinch, yeah?" she nodded dumbly apparently registering the information. Naruto took this moment of stupidity to his advantage forming a one handed seal

"_ShrienGo: Gairu no Chijin" _he inwardly smirked as the jutsu took its designated effect.

"Oi, pink-chan. How about you help me do some shopping?" again the girl nodded dumbly.

"Right." With that the two made their way into a building entitled 'Shinobi clothing & accessories' Naruto wasted no time as his jutsu became weaker with every passing moment. He found as much black and red colored crap as possible and loaded it into a bag. His choice of clothing was a black sleeveless jacket with a high collar which curved all around and covered his mouth, underneath was a fishnet shirt and shoulder length black and white striped shirt, some black pants that went down to the ankles with two kunai holsters, one at the right thigh the other just above the left knee. Also merely to waste more of the girls money he bought white fingerless gloves which were armor plated. The two walked out of the store, the girl's purse was noticeably lighter. That wasn't enough for Naruto

"Hey, pink-chan…" The girl gazed mindlessly at him showing he had her attention

"What does every good shinobi need?" she let her jaw hang loosely to the side, her wordless response an indication of 'I don't care'

"That's right! Every shinobi needs weapons! Seeing as you're looking a bit under the weather at the moment ill buy the weapons myself. I could use some cash though…" He lowered his head in mock sadness. The girl reached into her purse and handed Naruto a wad of bills which any man would drool over, especially coming from someone so beautiful.

"Hey thanks, un!" he quickly grabbed the bills and shoved them into the large pocket on his jackets stomach. Naruto's face instantly turned serious

"Now that you've served your purpose I want you to travel home without stopping to talk to anyone. Go to sleep and forget that you ever met me. You were mugged by a cloaked figure with blue eyes, and be grateful to Jashin-sama. Normally I would have killed somebody after exposing them to this jutsu" he watched with glee as the pink haired girl walked off completely oblivious to her surroundings.

"Now…for a weapon." After a while of looking Naruto found a decent looking store, it bore no sign but instead a black kanji for 'war'. He entered the shop, a jingle from the door announcing his arrival. The shop to say the least was normal its walls lined with various kinds of weapons some familiar, while others looked strangely foreign. A young girl that stood behind the counter watched as Naruto silently made his way towards the 'exotic weapons' section, a small box shaped room with a few interesting looking swords. The girl from before stood behind him

"Hello, can I help you with anything?" she asked in a polite manner, obviously fake.

"Hai, im looking for something of the scythe type" the girl frowned in thought before pulling out a long wooden box. From it she pulled what looked like a sickle connected to a crescent shaped blade

"We have only a few of these kusari gama's in stock however if you would like us to make a custom weapon-"

"Forget it" Naruto interrupted. He carefully lifted the blades up and wrapped them loosely around his belt.

"Anything else?" she asked happily. Naruto grabbed two kukris from the shelf and put them into his weapon holsters. He paid for the weapons and left the store behind, another jingle as he closed the heavy wooden door.

"Well, I've got weapons a shit load of clothes. Now for a place to sleep…" The crescent moon shined overhead, its luminous glow reminded him of the kusari gama he had just bought. It would be a while before another full moon and the stench of death has started to seep out from its scroll.

"Ah crap…" he looked down to the sealing scroll that hung from his backside

"What am I going to do with this wench until the next sacrificial phase…" Naruto found a small inn with a nightly fee he could still easily afford. And as a plus it had booze!

"Better sleep up, un. Tomorrow I become a genin of Konoha"


	14. The foulmouth and the Prodigy

Yeah! Longer chapter. XD I felt all professional like had a cup of hot chocolate and a fire going Gotta love it.

* * *

The suns warm rays filled the room inching its way over Naruto's face. 

"Naah, Hidan-sensei…five more minutes…I was…in the middle…of something…goddamned shark...wont...hold...still...un…" The realization of where he was had just dawned upon him.

The pale boy's eyes jolted open and he instinctively reached for the two kukri blade that lay under his pillow, a common habit that Naruto found only happened here in Konoha. With a long yawn he reached for his new jacket and shirt when a thought crept into his head _that old man'll be looking for the nights pay…That pink haired chick gave me more than enough money to live off of for another couple of days…"_

"But who are they to tell me what I owe them?" he stated angrily. Sora slept on the wooden window sill, beak calmly under his right wing. The bird slowly opened a lazy eye giving its master a quick look over before taking its rightful perch on Naruto's shoulder.

He formed the usual mask for today and set off using the rooms convenient first story window

"Now to the village spawn point of weakness; the academy."

The building to say the least was unimpressive. It had a standard bamboo wall that coiled around the property, some tall grass….In the far corner Naruto spotted a familiar sight, the old swing he would go to when depressed or upset. A scarred man motioned for him to come to class, Naruto followed through the window into a class of pathetic looking children. Among them he immediately spotted the familiar spot of pink that at the moment seemed to be drooling, along with a group of other fan girls over some brooding punk. With an irritated sigh he made his way over to the only available seat next to the kid and his fan club. Naruto plopped down and rested his muddy boots upon the table, said punk glared over at his unwanted guest and scowled. Naruto gave him a questioning look

"What? You want me to go sit in the back with that freak?" he motioned towards the silent Aburame who sat at the back desk, alone. The emo shrugged and diverted his gaze to the open window. Naruto noticed the Uchiha crest on his back and decided he would screw with the kids head

"You know…" Naruto whispered gently into his ear "Itachi has been oh so lonely ever since killing those worthless parents of yours, Sasuke-_kun_" he watched with a smirk as Sasuke stumbled back in his chair

"Y-you know _**him**_?!" he managed to stutter out. Naruto responded with a cold laugh

"Know him? Know _**him**_??...meh…maybe…" The Uchiha face faulted

"You have nothing to do with this, teme. Leave me be or I'll…" Naruto took it upon himself to finish his sentence

"Add me to your little hitlist?" Sasuke only glared. His fan club immediately registered Naruto as their object of worship's enemy and glared along with him

"You jerk leave Sasuke-kun alone!" they all screeched in unison. Naruto looked at the girls, then to Sasuke

"So, you're saying…because I pissed him off I'm a jerk?" he asked curiosity present in his voice. The group as one nodded furiously.

"Hmm…That's a problem, un. You see if not properly labeled society will slowly, yet gradually be broken down into chaos" he paused for a moment in thought.

"Then, It'll turn into some troublesome" a pineapple haired kid in the back coughed

"Problem that jerks like me'll have to fix…" without warning he leaned towards the Uchiha….and kissed him hard on the lips. Both the girls and Sasuke had silent expression of horror on their faces.

"Now, I'm a jerk" Naruto proudly stated with a smirk. The group of girls ran off with separate fits of anger, shock, and annoyance and much to Naruto's amusement Sasuke had frozen in place his look of shock still present.

"Meh, pitiful girls. Hopefully now they'll focus on shinobi training and not some pretty boy…" he glanced over his shoulder to see the same group of girls gathered around some guy in a grey sweater with a dog.

"Holy…Fuck…the stupidity in this village, I swear. It's enough to make one seriously consider suicide" The scarred guy from before started going on about the duties of shinobi to their villages and how the road of a ninja is a long and difficult one. And then one by one people started being called up to perform some sort of jutsu. Apparently you had to perform your family's clan whatever…Naruto was called up after the Uchiha dick and the guy told him to show them his family jutsu. He only sighed and summoned as much chakra as possible; the sheer amount was enough for the proctors to gasp in shock before Naruto yelled out his jutsu

"_Jashin Eiketsu: KuoniShiren, ShirenMu: Shimanagashi no Kan"_ shouts of shock and confusion filled the room as possessors kekkai genkai had it instantly activated and then forcibly deactivated. Around the room Hyuuga, and Uchiha held their eyes in pain, The guy with the dog held his ears and nose as if somebody had just took a huge crap in his face and then screamed at him. Naruto turned back to the proctors who shakily handed him a Konoha hitai-ate. He casually took his seat and watched in amusement as Sasuke gripped his eyes still apparently in pain.

"That….THAT…was amazing" he slowly turned to Naruto

"You activated my sharingan…I haven't been able to do that on my own…" The scarred guy piped up again about congratulations and duty.

"Your new sensei's will meet you in a few minutes, but before that you will be placed into three man cells. Remember that teamwork is important and good luck" Everybody in the room tensed up. Glancing around Naruto picked out two other people he deemed…well…not as weak as the others. The guy went on until a familiar name was shouted out

"Uruhada Nonori, Uchiha Sasuke, and TenTen" Sasuke groaned as countless objections and pleas erupted in the room only to be interrupted by Naruto

"…What the fucks a TenTen?" only to be met with a fist to the head by a girl with bun thingies on her head.

"Ah, ok" Naruto replied while tending to his now bleeding head. The three made their way to a room while they waited for their alleged sensei to appear. Sasuke's glare shifted from a malice coated Naruto to a peppy looking Tenten. _Great, I get some homo-dobe and a freaking princess lea…_ Tenten seemingly picking up on her teammate's unwanted glares decided to break the tension

"So, you guys gonna introduce yourselves? Or do I gotta punch ya again?" she shot a look at Naruto who threw his hands defensively up into the air

"Well, that was exactly where I was going to Tenten" spoke a voice from the window. The three looked over to the window where a man with impossibly awesome hair mentioned to the roof. Sasuke looked over to find a few black feathers floating down onto the bench where Naruto had recently sat. He and Tenten climbed the endless stairway to find a doorway labeled 'roof access' there was the gray haired guy and Naruto who sat patiently on the roofs railing. Naruto shot Sasuke a smug look before speaking

"So. You're our sensei? Considering your choice of clothing, hairstyle, and porno…youre not that tough" The man smiled from his only visible eye

"Well now that were up here...how about we introduce ourselves? Youre dreams, hobbies likes dislikes, ect ought to do it…" He motioned towards Tenten who immediately spoke up

"Hiya! Im Tenten, my hobbies include training, weapon smithery, and action movies. My dislikes…" she glared at Naruto for a moment "My dislikes are perverts, weak fan girls, and Nonori. And my dream is to become a powerful and respected kunoichi." Kakashi tucked away his Icha Icha Paradise and pointed a finger to Naruto who gave Tenten a quick 'bitch' and then spoke

"I am Uruhada Nonori, I am a devout follower of Jashin-sama. My likes are prayer, my friend Sora who you will meet later and training. My dislikes are weakness, Sasuke, pink haired chick, that guy" he pointed lazily towards Kakashi with an outstretched finger "This village, your Hokage, any future Hokages you may have, ramen, these annoying ass villagers, that freaky dude I saw in green spandex, spandex in **general**, I mean what the fuck? Oh and genjutsu…that crap pisses me off, un." Kakashi stared at him for a few moments, his eyebrow twitching

"Is that all Nonori-kun?" Naruto gave him a shrug. An indication that was the shorter version…

"Feh…as for dreams…currently none. Seeing how weak this village is I guess the only thing I can do is serve as a useful shinobi and hope it doesn't rub off…." Kakashi sighed _It looks like he grew up with a positive role model…_

"Right…next" Sasuke took his own damn sweet time in answering.

"My name…is Uchiha Sasuke. My likes……I have few…my dislikes, unlike Nonori I will keep short and sweet to Ino, Sakura, and any other of those annoying fan girls. My dream…no more like ambition is to kill a certain man and restore my clan to its former greatness" a long silence indicated he had finished. Naruto for one, was not impressed

"Oi, Sasuke-kun. I'd think by the time you actually found Itachi-san you'd be soo damn old that your tired old man bones would collapse…then he'd probably slit your throat. Secondly any chick that would want to screw you would probably have such a low IQ that your hand would be smarter." Kakashi had reverted to his Icha Icha paradise and Tenten held back muffled laughs as Sasuke calmly as possible headed for the door while Naruto added more unruly insults.

"Ah, Sasuke I'd like for you three to meet me at training ground three tomorrow oh, don't eat breakfast." Sasuke gave his 'hn' in reply as he headed for the Uchiha compound. That white haired boy intrigued him to no end, not only did he claim to know Itachi…but he activated his sharingan. A feat Sasuke himself had yet to achieve.

* * *

Added an Orochimaru-like line at the end showing how at an early age (12) Sasuke leans towards the side of evil. Chose Naruto Sasuke and Tenten for team seven. I had always seen team seven as maybe a shock troop type of unit seeing as Naruto and Sasuke's fighting styles are very close combat. More to come thanks guys for the reviews. 


	15. Out on the town

Sorry about the three weeks of not doing...anything. Got the flu and then i had to do a weeks worth of school work.

* * *

Naruto had found that his new "teammate" was quite the persistent one. Not once, twice, but three times had she insisted they go somewhere as a team and get to know each other…seeing as Kakashi-san and Sasuke had already left meant that he would have to either kill this girl or go somewhere with her_…Jashin-sama…what should I do?_ He pleaded for his lord's advice but got nothing. _Not to worry, if she's planning to do something…I'm a man of…god…? Yes! Surely my years of spiritual training and prayer will protect my mentality_ He indolently looked over his shoulder to find the girl was still following him…

"Fuck it, fine! We'll go to a restaurant or something, un" Naruto raised his arms in defeat as Tenten ran up to his side

"Phew! You're pretty stubborn, Nonori. So…how about…" she glanced around the busy streets looking for some sign of an eating establishment only for her eyes to light up and point to a red building in the distance

"Ah! Perfect. My friend's teammate is obsessed with this place, hopefully they'll be there!" Tenten paused for a moment considering Nonori's short temper _Heh…maybe not…_She pulled him into the large restaurant and spotted three genin along with their jonin instructor seated by the far window. Naruto grimaced at the horrifying sight, there sat a genin in a green jacket that had scarfed down an entire batch of barbequed steak in the three seconds it took for the two to walk over. Naruto hesitantly sat next to a boy with pale white eyes like his own and they both watched in astonishment as this…thing in front of them started on another pile of meat.

"Hey Neji, Sakura…Chouji, Asuma-sensei" Tenten bowed before sitting next to the pink haired girl now known as Sakura. Neji forced away his gaze from the spot where a towering pile meat had recently stood proud to Naruto, those annoyingly intelligent eyes seemed to scan over his entire being…like some sort of super computer

"You're eyes…But you aren't a Hyuuga…are you?" Naruto avoided the question by pulling a kunai from his pouch and stabbing a piece meat from the steaming grill in the center of their table. He began ripping it apart with his slightly sharpened teeth and much to Chouji's surprise at a much faster rate. He looked up to find the pile in front of him had been reduced to nothing

"Ne, Seiuchi-san you gonna lay off that meat for a sec…" Chouji slapped on his angry face, a slight bit of meat hung from the Akamichi's mouth

"HEY WHO THE HELL YOU CALLIN SEIUCHI-SAN??! I am AKAMICHI CHOUJI!! For you of all people to point out other peoples personal faults is disgraceful! For you to comment on me being fat after kissing Uchiha-san is…" Naruto had done a complete 360 and was currently ordering more meat for himself

"So Tenten-chan you and Nonori are on the same team eh? Sakura glared at Naruto as he secured his meat from Chouji who was desperately reaching over the table wriggling his fingers in attempt to gain possession of said meat.

"Hai" Tenten leaned in closer; Sakura took the hint and also leaned towards Tenten

"Although he kissed Sasuke before I don't think Nonori's that kind of guy. I caught him glancing at your chest a few minutes ago" she added with a wink. Sakura's face had almost gone as pink as her hair

"B-BAKA!!" the next thing Naruto knew somebody had punch the plate from his hands and it twirled off with a mocking 'fwhoosh' the plate came to a stop **imbedding **itself into a nearby wall

"W-what…the fuck? Who d-dare's mess with my meat? I s-swear to Jashin-sama he will have your head y-you pink haired b-banshee…un?" As hard as he tried the threatening tone of voice never came. Sakura then proceeded to punch Naruto square in the jaw sending him flying over the bench like some kind of doll and onto the floor with a painful "ugh" Surely if Jashin-sama was listening…he'd be laughing. _Oi, what did I do to deserve this…? Maybe an early sacrifice is in store…_

A few hours later Naruto awoke to find he had been dumped (literally) into his apartment's moldy bedOn his counter table lay a photo; He leaned in close to get a better look only to fall back onto the bed in shock. The picture was taken at the barbeque joint and had contained an unconscious Naruto being held up by both Tenten and Sakura each placing a kiss on his cheek with a smirk. In the background was a laughing Asuma……..and a very full Chouji pulling money out of the reinforced wallet Naruto had stolen from Kakuzu. This would not go unanswered! Naruto threw himself off the bed with a slight flick of his arms through the window and onto the street below. Villager after villager cautiously avoided him and the murderous pack of crows that followed; each had what looked like a version of the sharingan except it was spinning to make a circle with another around it. He was on a mission and wouldn't be disturbed; Naruto made his way to the top of the Hokage and found a spot that had been destroyed by some battle but had tall trees growing around the sides of the clearing.

"Alright you wench, time to meet your end" with that he pulled out a black sealing scroll and smeared some blood on it. A quick flash of dimmed light and the body of a young women appeared in Naruto's arms, she had an expression of pure terror on her face. After their little encounter Sora had suggested he use a paralysis jutsu that preserved the wonderful moment of the woman's last moments on earth. Naruto wasted no time as he pulled out numerous instruments ranging from scalpels to hand saws and his personal favorite the kunai, simple clean and easy to buy. A half an hour later his work of art was finished. It was perfect not only could Naruto fulfill his duties as a priest and please Jashin-sama, he could also express himself artistically and vent frustration of the day. Deidara-sensei had always said that art was an important part of a shinobi's life.

"But damn did this chick got vented on, un." Ever since Naruto had disrespected Sasori's giant doll things the ex-sand nin had shown the nine year old boy everything he needed to know about human puppets. Although he hated the dolls Naruto had to admit that the concept was interesting and had asked Sasori how to make them. He adopted and customized the art to his own liking, by distorting and combining his victims skeletal frames instead of their outer appearance he could make literally thousands of mutant puppets a day. His three favorite were currently sealed in tattoos on his arm, forehead and chest. There was Kokuun, who is sealed on his right bicep representing its immense power. The man, in life must have been a poison type because most of his jutsu involves shooting clouds of poisonous gas through his mouth and cells. On the chest directly over his heart is Sekisho, the living shield. He has the ability to absorb chakra and then focus it into a blast. And then… Kokushibyou, the black death. His seal surrounds Naruto's original 'Yuuku' kanji and is most commonly used in combat. The woman formerly known as Nokorashi Shadume was now a hulking mass of bone. Its large snake like jaw weighed the creature down like an anchor its body was currently an elongated spinal cord with thousands of tinny hand bones lining its bottom.

"A form truly fit for somebody so foul. That, Shadume-chan is for throwing rocks at me ten years ago."

* * *

Hmm, a Deidara, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori hybrid...? A truely scary sight to behold. 


End file.
